A depressed cannibal walks into a bar for the third time that week

He looks at the bartender and says, “give me some of the good stuff that makes me feel better.” The bartender looks at the cannibal and replies, “barbiturate?”

Walks into a bar

Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. Where can you buy violins and groceries?

VivALDI’s

2. My wife has two problems with me:

The fact that I don't finish my sentences and

3. What do you call a Viking who doesn't like company?

Leif Malone

4. I'm trying to remember what the French word for white is...

But my mind keeps going blanc

5. How many giraffes does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but you’d better have a high ceiling.

6. I was flirting with a woman at the bus stop and asked her to tell me a little about herself. She said, “well…I’m a dog walker.”

I ended the conversation right there because she’s obviously delusional… and how the *hell* did she know my name was Walker??

7. The makers of Visine™ have a Web Page…

…It’s a site for sore eyes.

8. The makers of Visine™ have a Web Page…

…It’s a site for sore eyes.

9. I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”

She is watching our wedding video again.

10. When I was in Poland I went to see their parliament in session

It was the Sejm as any other

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A depressed cannibal walks into a bar for the third time that week

Walks into a bar

funny dad jokes